Well shit. What did I get myself into?

My mind kept racing, slowing inching towards darkness again.

This is it. I should just stop everything. I can’t do this. I won’t do this. Get me home. 

And that was only ten minutes into the ride from the hotel to Bang Bon, my new home.

A tear slide down my face. I think my coordinator saw so I turned to the look out the other window. I was not about to start balling my eyes out to this stranger as she’s welcoming me into her country and community.

Get your shit together Liz. You have your best friend here with you. Everything is going to be fine. 

Sure enough, everything was better than fine. I got incredibly lucky with my placement.

Kru (teacher) Khim, our coordinator, had everything ready to go for the next 18 weeks. We received a curriculum and materials, which often does not happen for teachers. She even organized everything for us, week by week.

This was just the start of how things were looking up.

Originally I was supposed to be placed in a studio apartment in the middle of the town. But once again Kru Khim to the rescue.

There were extra apartments on campus at our sister school, which is only about ten minutes away. It’s gated with a track and pool and gym to use as we please. Plus I found there’s a cafe open in the morning for me to get my caffeine fix!

Then everyday we get picked up and dropped off by a van, all for free.

Oh, did I mention the school provides us with lunch too?

I can’t even begin to explain how lucky I feel in my situation. I felt like I was on a rollercoaster ride during my first few days of teaching. But I’m trying to remind myself that it could be worse.

It actually is worse for some of my friends I’ve met at orientation. (S/o Sydney, I’m sorry your school only has squatter toilets!!)

Little by little the darkness diminished. I finally felt like a could do it. I was home.

I just needed to breathe. I was getting myself worked up for no reason. I also needed to remind myself about this incredible experience I’m about to have.

I’m ready to not only teach, but to learn about this beautiful country and myself!

“Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”