My first full week of school is finally complete!! And I only cried two out of five days!

For those of you that know me, I am not a fan of little kids. Yes, they’re adorable but for some reason I can’t deal with all the crying and screaming and how they don’t listen. So when I found out I was teaching Nursery and Kindergarten, I was mortified.

But, it did not take long for me to fall in love with my students.

The first few days were extremely difficult. They just stared at me as I introduced myself and went over the vocab.

No reactions. No smiles. No movement. Just confused eyes.

I looked at one nursery student and he just started balling.

This is so discouraging. They already hate me. Why am I here?

I felt so stupid. There was no way I could teach them. So I cried in the bathroom.

It was only Monday.

Tuesday was easier as I got to teach a Kindergarten class. These students are more active and understand better.

Just when I thought I was making strides, I was pushed back down on Wednesday.

My coordinator, Kru Khim, sat in on my first class of the day. I planned for my students to complete their workbook page from Week 1. (Week 1 was only two days so we had to complete it during Week 2, along with everything else for Week 2)

I started to take out the workbooks, but she immediately stopped me.

“No no. Do the new vocabulary first,” Kru Khim said. But my plan was to do the new vocabulary on Thursday and Friday.

I was caught off guard and now my whole week was getting thrown off.

She came up and started to help me run the class. In the hallway I could see the principal showing potential parents the school. They were watching me as I was failing miserably.

I was doing everything wrong. So again, I cried in the bathroom.

I understand now my coordinator was just trying to help me. But at the time I was angry. I was still going to complete everything I needed to for the week. It just might not have been the way she wanted.

Even though I never like admitting I’m wrong, I was definitely wrong. Kru Khim has been in this field for years. She knows how to engage the students and she could tell that I needed to work on it.

She gave me suggestions and some toys for me to use as I teach. I followed her direction and by the end of the week, I felt way better.

My nursery students are finally warming up to me. On Friday I walked into one class and a few of the students started clapping because they were excited to see me.

In another incident, a student was crying leaving his mom. I got down to his level and held his hand. I just kept smiling and saying “It’s okay, it’s okay!” He stopped crying!! He probably stopped crying because this crazy farang was saying things in a different language, but hey it still worked!

I can do this!

The kids give me such a fulfilling feeling already.

“Techa techa!!” They will say as you walk down the hallway. “Boootiful teacha!”

Their smiles are infectious and the energy is constant. This is a new type of love I’ve been receiving. Each day I feel more and more comfortable.

Some classes are better than others and some days will be better than others. But when I see that a student understands, my heart jumps.

It will get easier and everything will be okay.