For a majority of 2018 I lived in darkness.

I believed if you searched my name on the internet, you would read “Elizabeth O’Connell 1996-2018.”

I had no intention in seeing another year. No interest in another year.

I’ve said it before and I unfortunately have been thinking it constantly for the past few days, but I truly believe suicide is still my only escape from pain.

But as I see 2019 approaching, I see more and more light at the end of my mental health tunnel.

I see light. And happiness. And myself.

For the love of god, I finally see myself again.

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2018, you have been a pain in my ass.

You ripped everything that was comfortable and the norm out from under me.

You sent me rolling downhill. Fast. 

You let me flirt on the line of life and death.

You ripped me to shreds, danced on top and laughed at my failures.

But you DID NOT take me.

You revealed the real Lizzy.

You showed me strength. Beauty. Love.

You gave me Thailand.

You taught me to let go. Breathe and keep moving.

So thanks to this flip flop disaster of a year, I proudly write this post as a stronger woman. A wiser woman. A traveler. A teacher.

Throw whatever you want at me next 2019, I’m ready for you!!