I am so sorry for how absent I’ve been since 2019 has started.

I have drafts and drafts of posts I want to share with you, but luckily haven’t because of how busy I’ve been now that I’m finally feeling back to myself.

Sometimes I’ll start a draft to quickly jot down my thoughts. Then time gets away from me as I’m soaking up every last second I have in Thailand.

So as I’m learning and growing, please be patient with me posting!

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Speaking of patience, it’s a virtue that I do not have.

I’m not sure where it comes from, but I am one of the least patient people you will meet.

I have always resulted to anger when someone doesn’t understand my explanations or when things don’t go as planned. I get bent out of shape for absolutely no reason.

But I immediately had to adjust that behavior while living in Thailand.

The Land of Smiles runs on its own schedule. Thai time.

A bus schedule could say it departs at 11 a.m., but in reality it could leave any time it wants. If the bus is full before 11, it’s gone. Or the driver will wait a couple hours for the bus to fill up completely.

Mix in my anxiety with my impatience, Thai time is awful.

When I started this draft, I was typing it as my bus back to Bangkok stopped and parked when we were just 30 minutes outside of the station.

No reason, no explanation. Just stopped.

It took me weeks to get used to this lifestyle.

It took closed eyes and focused breathing to get used to Thai time.

But as I’m learning patience with traveling, I’m applying it to teaching and even myself.

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When it comes to teaching, I’ve never been good at explaining.

At the beginning of my time here in Thailand, I was upset no one was understanding me. (It definitely was because I’m some random farang speaking a foreign language!!)

But I was immediately frustrated and discouraged.

I had to reevaluate how I was teaching.

I took advice from my coordinator and started making my class more interactive for my students. They are just little kids and they want to have fun!

But this is still a struggle for me. Just this week, I explained how to do a worksheet multiple times. I gave them an example. But still some students colored over the whole page without following any direction.

I was about to pull my hair out. But after going back to the teacher’s room, I sat and breathed through it.

Liz, they’re just little kids. They just want to color! 

Some days my patience is tested more than other days.

A really good friend here gave me a new perspective of the importance of patience for teachers.

School does not come easy for everyone. So I can’t get angry or frustrated because it will only discourage students.

Instead a teacher must learn to be calm and be able to explain topics in multiple ways.

It has taken a lot of practice for me, but I’m finally learning patience.

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Now as a reflect on myself, I need to apply patience with my battle.

There is absolutely no reason for me to get angry at myself when I have a bad day.

I get overly upset sometimes after I come out on the other side of a panic attack. I beat myself up, which I know I should not be doing.

I’m proud of how far I’ve come so even the littlest setbacks get me down.

As I’m learning patience, I’m learning that it is beyond normal to have bad days.

Life is far from perfect. So if you aren’t having bad days, I’d be concerned.

I need to be patient in this healing process. It will not be magically better over night, even though so badly I wish it could be that simple. The recovery comes one step after the other.

Be patient in how far you’ve come and where you’re going because you will get there!

If there is one thing I’m glad to be taking from Thailand, I’m so thankful it is patience. I will be able to carry this trait with me through everything I do.

As always, keep fighting and stay strong!

❤ Lizzy