This month was incredibly emotional.

I finished up my month and a half long travel. Said goodbye to my new home in Thailand, along with my best friends.

I was emotional about coming home. To see my family for the first time in six months.

And while fighting off these emotions, my dark mind kept creeping up through the cracks.

What is your plan now? Ready to go back to a depressive state?

I was absolutely terrified of falling back to my episodes and suicidal thoughts.

I kept thinking back to this time last year.

I was riding a high of senior year and graduating. Only to find myself tumbling down fast.

Now this time, I was riding a high of living in a foreign country, traveling every weekend.

I was scared to come home because I thought the walls of my house would just mock me. Trap me in like it did all of last summer. Enough to keep me in bed for days at a time. Enough to make me not eat.

Of course it’s going to be an adjustment. And of course I’m sure there will be some struggles along the way.

But unlike what I saw this time last year, there are conversations about mental health.

I believed last year I was the only one. I didn’t even know May was Mental Health Month. I didn’t even know it was unhealthy to be suicidal.

All I knew was that I wanted my life to be over.

If I never received the support from my friends and family, I wouldn’t be here a year later.

I wouldn’t have traveled to the most amazing country in the world. I wouldn’t have been a teacher. And I sure as hell wouldn’t be writing this blog.

I started this blog as an outlet for me. To express whatever craziness was whirling around in my mind.

But the amount of feedback and support I’ve received, from those close to me and those I haven’t talked to in years, kept me writing.

I cannot thank you enough to those who have followed my journey. To those who reached out and shared your own mental health experiences. To those who made me feel like I’m making an impact.

Now comparing how 2019 May looks, I’ve seen people posting and sharing about mental health. It’s inspiring.

Thank you for getting me through. You can too. Keep fighting!